I can’t stand potpourri
I can’t stand potpourri gifts, let alone a whole potpourri gift catalog littered with the trash they pass off as a bouquent of fragrance. Have they no heart? Can’t they see that my nose was blown off in the Civil War? I don’t even have a body, yet they expect me to fill my lungs with fragrant air? I have no lungs you horrible human beings! Who are you to oppress me simply because I was born with no eyes and have an alligator tail. That is unfair and I detest your attempts to make me smell your evil potpourri.
